Baubius's Crack Den

Baubius 2

Baubius 3

0

buddha.jpg

RPC-XXX

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Registered Phenomena Code: XXX

Object Class: Neutralized

Hazard Types: N/A

Containment Protocols: As of 8/15/1969, the RPCF Jericho-10 satellite is currently within Saturn's orbit with the task of observing RPC-XXX.

A coverup has been implimented, labeling RPC-XXX as a minor moon orbiting far from Saturn. Several field agents have been deployed within NASA headquarters in order to remove and edit all information regarding RPC-XXX's anomalous nature.

As of 2/9/2017, no containment procedures are required for RPC-XXX. Please see the addenda for more information regarding RPC-XXX's neutralization.

Description: RPC-XXX is a head of a Buddha statue that is entirely composed of stone and is 71.6 meters in radius. Currently, RPC-XXX is in orbit around the planet Saturn, orbiting roughly 1.1 thousand km from Saturn's surface.

RPC-XXX has been found to be tidally locked with Saturn, despite the position of the object. This is considered to be anomalous as RPC-XXX orbits too far away from Saturn for this to occur naturally.

RPC-XXX is sapient, being able to communicate by emitting a series of radio waves. The process by which RPC-XXX is able to produce and emit radio waves is unknown. RPC-XXX does not actively communicate with personnel on its own accord, but most attempts to communicate with the object have been successful. RPC-XXX views the planet Saturn as a relative or possibly a romantic partner. RPC-XXX claims to have known an entity which allegedly currently resides as or within the planet Saturn, although RPC-XXX has not delivered specific details regarding said entity.

RPC-XXX speaks in standard morse code. The reason for this is currently unknown.

Addendum 2983.1: Interview Log XXX.1

Log I

<Begin Log>

Command: Hello RPC-XXX.

RPC-XXX: WHO IS RPC-XXX?

Command: You are RPC-XXX. We have found you here and have given you that designation. Do you have another name?

RPC-XXX: NO I DO NOT. CALL ME WHAT YOU WISH.

Command: And are you bothered by my presence at all?

RPC-XXX: NO. I WELCOME YOU.

Command: Great. So, I have some questions to ask you. May I?

RPC-XXX: DO AS YOU WISH.

Command: Great. Thank you. Now, how did you get here?

RPC-XXX: I DO NOT KNOW. I'VE BEEN WITH ARAH SINCE I WAS CREATED FROM NOTHING. WE'VE GROWN VERY CLOSE.

Command: Who is this Arah?

RPC-XXX: HER. SHE IS IN FRONT OF ME.

[3 minutes of silence.]

Command: I can not see her.

RPC-XXX: ARE YOU BLIND? SHES THE ONLY THING I CAN SEE FOR MILES. SHES OF A GOLDEN HUE, AND HAS A BEAUTIFUL RING WRAPPED AROUND HER. LOOK.

Command: Are you referring to Saturn?

RPC-XXX: SATURN? HER NAME IS ARAH.

Command: Apologies. Arah, or Saturn, is a planet. We doubt that she is alive at all. How—

RPC-XXX: NO. SHE IS STILL HERE. I KNOW SHE IS.

Command: May I speak?

RPC-XXX: APOLOGIES. YOU MAY SPEAK.

Command: OK. How have you become close?

RPC-XXX: WE ARE INTERLINKED. WE SHARE MUTUAL LOVE. CAN YOU NOT FEEL IT?

Command: Yes. I understand. How long have you been here?

RPC-XXX: MANY YEARS. I AM AWAITING HER RETURN.

Command: From where?

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: RPC-XXX?

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: Did Arah give you a name?

RPC-XXX: NO. SHE COULD NOT SPEAK.

Command: Why was that?

RPC-XXX: SHE WAS BORN WITHOUT A VOICE. THE REASON IS NOT KNOWN.

Command: Why—

RPC-XXX: I DESIRE TO BE LEFT ALONE NOW.

Command: Can I ask one more question?

RPC-XXX: YES.

Command: Do you know what you are?

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: RPC-XXX?

RPC-XXX: WE NEVER KNEW.

<End Log>

Addendum 2983.2: On 1/9/2017, RPC-XXX began deliberately communicating with Jericho-10. This event is of note because RPC-XXX had not attempted to converse with the Authority for over 50 years.

Jericho-10, during logs 2, 3, 4, and 5, was attended by Doctor L. Ings. Dr. Ings specializes in the therapeutic treatment of sapient RPC objects. Log 6, however, was attended by Researcher Murphy due to Dr. Ings's absence at the time.

Log II

<Begin Log>

RPC-XXX: HELLO.

RPC-XXX: HELLO?

RPC-XXX: HELLO.

RPC-XXX: ARE YOU STILL THERE?

RPC-XXX: WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME?

Command: Hello RPC-XXX.

RPC-XXX: SO YOU STILL ARE HERE.

Command: Were you afraid that I had left?

RPC-XXX: I DID NOT CARE. I WAS MERELY CHECKING FOR THE SAKE OF IT. WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU HADN'T DIED.

Command: Are you sure you weren't scared?

RPC-XXX: NO.

Command: I see. Are you still waiting for Saturn to respond to you?

RPC-XXX: HER NAME IS NOT SATURN. SHE IS ARAH, SORCERESS OF EMBERS.

Command: Sorceress of Embers? Did you give her that nickname?

RPC-XXX: YES. SHE AROSE FROM THE BALL OF FIRE ILLUMINATING HER FACE AS WE SPEAK.

Command: The Sun?

RPC-XXX: YES. THE SUN.

Command: Do you know how you were created?

RPC-XXX: NO. I AWOKE BY HER SIDE ON MY FIRST DAYS. SHE WAS ALWAYS SO KIND TO ME.

Command: She sounds very nice indeed. How long were you together?

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: You there?

RPC-XXX: MONTHS. I THINK YEARS. TO ME IT FELT LIKE A DAY.

Command: Is Arah capable of movement?

RPC-XXX: YES.

Command: If she can move, then why does she not now? Why has she been dormant for hundreds of years?

RPC-XXX: SHE IS STILL HERE. SHE CAN COME BACK WHENEVER SHE WISHES.

Command: But why hasn't she?

RPC-XXX: DO YOU DARE QUESTION ME?

Command: Now, now. There is no need to be angry.

RPC-XXX: MY LOVE WILL COME BACK WHEN SHE DESIRES. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME OR HER. SHE WILL COME BACK. I AM CERTAIN. SHE PROMISED.

Command: Right.

[Silence for 7 minutes.]

Command: So, has she always been like this? Has she always been so large?

RPC-XXX: NO. SHE WAS ONCE SMALL AND FRAIL. AT TIMES SHE WOULD CLIMB ON TOP OF ME AND PUSH ME THROUGH THE STARS.

Command: Then how did she get like this?

RPC-XXX: SHE IS ONLY SLEEPING. SHE WILL AWAKEN SOON.

Command: But are you really sure?

RPC-XXX: I SAID DO NOT QUESTION ME. LEAVE NOW.

<End Log>

Log III

Command: Hello RPC-XXX.

RPC-XXX: WHAT IS IT?

Command: Just checking in for the day. It's a routine process.

RPC-XXX: I SEE.

Command: Do you enjoy our company?

RPC-XXX: I. NO. I DO NOT.

Command: What would you like to talk about today?

RPC-XXX: NOTHING. LEAVE ME.

[Silence for 15 seconds.]

Command: Are you angry at us right now?

RPC-XXX: NO.

Command: You seem to be very annoyed.

RPC-XXX: THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE ANNOYING.

Command: And thus you are angry.

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: See what I did there?

RPC-XXX: YOU ARE A CLEVER CREATURE. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

Command: You can call me Doctor Ings.

RPC-XXX: WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Command: To make sure you are alright.

RPC-XXX: WHY ME? I AM FINE HERE. I AM NOT DESERVING OF COMFORT. I NEED TO WAIT FOR ARAH.

Command: I understand. But I take pleasure in making others happy. You seem very tense. Plus, it's my duty.

RPC-XXX: I AM FINE.

Command: And dismissive.

RPC-XXX: THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE, THEREFORE I AM NOT DISMISSIVE.

[Silence for 4 minutes.]

RPC-XXX: WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?

Command: I thought you wanted to be alone.

RPC-XXX: JUST ANSWER ME.

Command: I come from Earth. I live amongst many other people, meeting creatures like you and making them feel better.

RPC-XXX: WHAT IS EARTH?

Command: Earth is a planet, like Saturn— although I know Arah is more than that. We are able to walk and move on Earth. We can also swin in water, fly in the sky, and do lots of fun things.

RPC-XXX: SO YOU LIVE ON EARTH? AND YOU CAN MOVE?

Command: Yes. And it isn't lonely here at all. You seem awfully lonely here.

RPC-XXX: NO, I HAVE ARAH.

[Silence for 3 seconds.]

RPC-XXX: BUT EARTH SOUNDS VERY NICE. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE THERE?

Command: It feels fairly normal. Imagine what you feel like right now, waiting for Arah. It feels like that; normal. Although we do have temperatures. It can be hot or cold.

RPC-XXX: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A TEMPERATURE IS.

Command: There are two; hot and cold. Hot is when the temperature rises, and objects turn to liquid or gas. It is what causes fire. The Sun is very hot. Cold is the exact opposite. Most things turn solid when they are cold. Cold freezes people, like Sat— like the other planets here.

RPC-XXX: YOU SAY THAT ARAH IS COLD?

Command: My bad.

RPC-XXX: HOT SOUNDS VERY HARSH. I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE HOT.

Command: Sometimes it can be very nice.

RPC-XXX: AND COLD. COLD SOUNDS STRANGE TO ME. YOU SUGGEST THAT ARAH IS COLD, BUT I KNOW SHE. SHE. SHE IS NOT.

Command: Are—

RPC-XXX: SHE CANNOT BE COLD. I AM NOT COLD I HAVE ARAH. I—

Command: Are you alright?

[Silence for 1 minute.]

RPC-XXX: I AM NOT COLD, AM I?

Command: What do you mean by cold?

RPC-XXX: I MEAN— NEVERMIND. ARAH IS HERE. SHE IS MAKING ME HOT. PLEASANT HOT, NOT DEADLY HOT.

Command: You mean warm?

RPC-XXX: YES. WE ARE WARM. TOGETHER. WARM.

<End Log>

RPC-XXX: HELLO?

Command: Good morning, RPC-XXX.

RPC-XXX: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Command: What, morning?

RPC-XXX: YES. WHAT IS THIS MORNING. IT SOUNDS VERY STRANGE.

Command: Well, at times, it can be. It's when the sun rises over the horizon, and everyone wakes up and goes to their jobs. Jobs are something people like me do to obtain money.

RPC-XXX: I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Command: What? Do you not live amongst a people?

RPC-XXX: NO. I AWOKE IN THE STARS. I THOUGHT I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT.

Command: Did you now?

RPC-XXX: YES.

Command: I apologize.

RPC-XXX: WHY IS THAT?

Command: Well, my body is very different from yours. While you only have one mind in your body, this one is capable of storing multiple. We're like a chamber, with multiple people taking turns speaking to you from it. Understand?

RPC-XXX: SO YOU ARE A MESSENGER.

Command: So it seems.

RPC-XXX: YOU ARE VERY INTERESTING. BUT WHY DO YOU SPEND ALL OF YOUR TIME WITH ME? I ALWAYS SEE YOUR CIRCLE BACK AROUND TO ME EACH PASSING MONTH.

Command: We are people who like to study things like you. Sometimes they are dangerous, you are not. We found you here one day and you looked very out of place, so we wanted to get to know you.

RPC-XXX: WHY ME? I AM OF NO WORTH RIGHT NOW.

Command: What makes you say that?

RPC-XXX: I CANNOT MOVE. I AM A STATIONARY BODY. ARAH WAS SO MUCH MORE, SHE COMPLETED ME. I AM NOTHING BUT A STONE.

Command: You are of more worth than you can comprehend, RPC-XXX. You help us research other beings like you, and to help them.

RPC-XXX: I.

[Silence for 1 minute.]

RPC-XXX: THANK YOU.

Command: RPC-XXX, are you feeling alright?

RPC-XXX: I AM JUST FINE. THANK YOU. NOW, IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I MUST RESUME WAITING FOR HER RETURN.

Command: Would you like to keep talking?

RPC-XXX: NO.

Command: Alright. And RPC-XXX?

RPC-XXX: WHAT IS IT.

Command: Don't be so hard on yourself. You're in good company here. You talking to us is helping more than ever.

RPC-XXX: I WILL CONSIDER YOUR OPINION. FOR NOW.

<End Log>

Log IV

<Begin Log>

RPC-XXX: STARS, WE ARE.

RPC-XXX: SOARING THROUGH AN INFINITE NOTHINGNESS.

RPC-XXX: ALONE, WITH ONLY EACH OTHER.

RPC-XXX: WE WILL FIGHT FOR ONE ANOTHER.

RPC-XXX: AND SO I MUST—

Command: That is a nice poem, RPC-XXX. Did you make it up?

RPC-XXX: HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME.

Command: I am sorry. But I couldn't help but notice it.

[Silence for 14 seconds.]

RPC-XXX: IT IS A SONG I MADE TO HELP ARAH SLEEP. SHE WAS AFRAID OF BEING CONSUMED BY THE DARKNESS BEFORE THE STARS APPEARED.

Command: We like it a lot.

RPC-XXX: SO WHO IS CONTROLLING YOUR BODY NOW?

Command: Same person as the last time.

RPC-XXX: HAVE YOU NOT GROWN TIRED OF ME?

Command: It is my job to remain here for you.

RPC-XXX: YOU MUST HATE YOUR JOB.

Command: I don't. It's one of the best jobs we have here in my opinion. Besides, I was told to ask you some questions. We're very worried about you, RPC-XXX.

RPC-XXX: WHY IS THAT?

Command: We've noticed that you've been very hard on yourself, and it is our job to make sure you're as happy as can be.

RPC-XXX: WORTHLESS. I AM ALREADY HAPPY. I AM HERE WITH ARAH. SHE IS ALL I NEED FOR COMFORT. LEAVE ME.

Command: RPC-XXX, please, listen. We're very worried.

RPC-XXX: WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED FOR ME? HAVEN'T YOU TALKED TO OTHERS LIKE ME?

Command: It's not my job to look after them. We have other people who do that. Please, RPC-XXX. There are only three questions. We'll be done very quickly.

RPC-XXX: FINE.

Command: Thank you. So, how are you sure that you and Arah share a romantic relationship?

RPC-XXX: I JUST KNOW. I DO NOT KNOW HOW, BUT WE JUST KNEW. WE ALWAYS KNEW. WE WOULD NEVER ABANDON EACH OTHER.

Command: Alright. What was Arah like? Besides her kindness.

RPC-XXX: SHE.

[Silence for 25 seconds.]

Command: Are you alright?

RPC-XXX: SHE ENJOYED TO WANDER. SOON, SHE BEGAN TO SLOW. SHE BEGAN TO REST AGAINST ME MORE OFTEN. SHE STILL LOVED TO WANDER, AND SHE WOULD USE ME AS HER WAY BACK HOME. I WAS HER HOME, AND SHE WAS MINE.

Command: She began to grow slow? What do you mean by that?

RPC-XXX: SHE USED TO BE VERY QUICK WHEN SHE WANDERED, BUT SHE GREW TIRED. ALMOST WEAK. SHE EVENTUALLY BECAME FASTER AGAIN, SO IT DOESNT MATTER.

Command: Alright. And lastly; where has she gone?

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: RPC-XXX?

RPC-XXX: SHE IS IN FRONT OF ME, RESTING. SHE NEEDED REST. SHE PROMISED THAT SHE WOULD WAKE UP SOON. HER BODY— HER BODY IS STILL THERE. BLANKET. THE HAS ENCASED HERSELF WITHIN A BLANKET. IT IS ONLY A BLANKET. HER BODY IS NORMAL. SO I HAVE WAITED AND WAITED. SHE IS NOT DEAD. SHE ISNT. SHE CAN NEVER DIE.

Command: RPC-XXX—

RPC-XXX: SHE WILL NEVER DIE. I CANNOT LET HER. I WILL REVIVE HER. SHE JUST NEEDS—

Command: Do you need some time alone?

RPC-XXX: I.

[Silence for 66 seconds.]

Command: I'll take that as a—

RPC-XXX: NO. PLEASE STAY. YOU INTEREST ME.

Command: In what way?

RPC-XXX: YOU.

RPC-XXX: I MEAN.

RPC-XXX: YOU'RE JUST.

Command: You're alone.

RPC-XXX: WHAT?

Command: We're worried about your loneliness, RPC-XXX. You seem very sad.

RPC-XXX: IMPOSSIBLE. I AM HAPPY. I AM WITH ARAH. I CANNOT BE SAD.

Command: RPC-XXX.

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: Silence will only make it worse, you know.

RPC-XXX: [Unresponsive.]

Command: We're always here if you need me.

[Silence for 1 hour.]

RPC-XXX: COLD.

Command: What?

RPC-XXX: THAT'S ALL. I'M JUST COLD. NOTHING MORE.

<End Log>

Log V

<Begin Log>

RPC-XXX: WHO DO YOU LOVE?

Command: You talking to me?

RPC-XXX: YES.

Command: I'm single right now, but I do have feelings for one of the researchers.

RPC-XXX: ARE YOU STILL THE SAME PERSON AS LAST TIME?

Command: Nope, different guy.

RPC-XXX: OH, ALRIGHT.

Command: Although Ings did tell me you're not feeling OK. Are you still cold?

RPC-XXX: YES.

Command: How cold exactly?

RPC-XXX: IT'S NOT SO BAD. I HAVE ARAH.

[Silence for 5 minutes.]

Command: You still think Arah is alive?

RPC-XXX: YES.

Command: That is very unlikely, considering the circumstances.

RPC-XXX: STOP.

Command: RPC-XXX, it is time you accept Arah's death. It's making you depressed. We can't have that.

RPC-XXX: I AM PERFECTLY FINE. YOU ARE DELUSIONAL. SHE IS ALIVE.

Command: Look at her. She is no longer Arah. She is Saturn. Speaking of which, how did she become like this?

RPC-XXX: SHE IS SLEEPING. SHE IS PERFECTLY NORMAL. SHE IS WITHIN HER BLANKET. IT IS ONLY A BLANKET. HER BODY IS—

Command: Did you not—

RPC-XXX: ARAH IS ALIVE. NOT DEAD. ALIVE. NO, SHE IS STILL HERE. STILL MAKING ME WARM. MAKING THE COLD GO AWAY. COLD. SO COLD. BUT SHE IS WARM. I KNOW—

Command: Calm down. Listen, RPC-XXX. You need to accept Arah's death.

RPC-XXX: ARAH IS ALIVE.

Command: Think about it. She hasn't come back for billions of years. Some promises just can't be kept.

[RPC-XXX is unresponsive for the remainder of the log.]

<End Log>

Note: RPC-XXX has been completely silent for a month now. Researcher Murphy has been disciplined appropriately due to his misbehavior around RPC-XXX.

Addendum 2983.6: On 2/8/2017, RPC-XXX began communicating with Jericho-10 after a month. The following log reads as such:

Log VI

RPC-XXX: HELLO?

Command: RPC-XXX! It's been so long. How are you?

RPC-XXX: I KNOW NOW.

Command: What?

RPC-XXX: ARAH IS COLD. SHE IS TOO COLD NOW.

RPC-XXX: I WANTED TO WAIT, BUT SHE CAN NEVER RETURN. HER REST IS ETERNAL.

RPC-XXX: I KNOW NOW, AND I WAS FOOLISH FOR EVER LOVING HER.

RPC-XXX: SHE LIED TO ME. BUT SHE TRIED NOT TO AT FIRST.

RPC-XXX: BY LOVING HER I HAVE WEAKENED MYSELF. I CANNOT BECOME WARM AGAIN. I CAN NOT.

Command: Take it easy—

RPC-XXX: NO! THIS IS THE TRUTH.

RPC-XXX: I CAN NOT MOVE. I CAN NOT FEEL HER AGAINST ME ANYMORE. I AM SO COLD.

RPC-XXX: BUT I THANK YOU.

RPC-XXX: I THANK YOU FOR ENLIGHTENING ME.

RPC-XXX: I HAVE ALREADY WAITED TOO MUCH HERE.

Command: RPC-XXX?

RPC-XXX: IT IS TOO COLD TO STAY HERE.

[RPC-XXX refuses to respond for the remainder of the log. Communication was attempted until RPC-XXX could no longer be viewed by the satellite.]

<End Log>

After one month had passed, it was hypothesized that RPC-XXX and the Jericho-10 satellite would move within viewing distance again. However, RPC-XXX was not present. As of this document's most recent revision, RPC-XXX's location remains unknown.

Note: Due to this event, I request that RPC-XXX be reclassified to Neutralized for the time being. I would also like to have a quick word with Researcher Murphy. — Doctor Ings

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