M.I.R.A
Good evening, or good morning, and welcome to M.I.R.A. My name is Malcolm Mc Frog Tears, and I'll be guiding you through this guide on our organization. We are a small, but durable group of individuals linked together by the anomalous forces of M.I.R.A's conceptualization. Our job is to investigate, acquire, sabotage or outright destroy anomalous items, situations and entities, but only if we're offered a fair and moral trade to do so. Our base of operations is a pocket dimension named The Office.
-Malcolm Mc Frog Tears
M.I.R.A Related Files Owned By M.I.R.A
The Filing Cabinet (in alphabetical order, not chronological)
M.I.R.A Related Files Not Owned By M.I.R.A
RPC & AEP Documents (in numerical order, not chronological)
Narratives & Recollections (in alphabetical order, not chronological)
The Contract
In order to become a M.I.R.A agent you must sigh a metaphorical contract this contract gives the individual that sighs it abilities the given are some form psychological anomaly immunity, Agelessness, Disease immunity and Extended memory capacity with other abilities being more person specific, in return they must follow a set of Six-Laws, these Six-Laws are non-negotiable and breaking them will result in you being reduced to dust. MR-PM has attempted to change the Six-Laws before to no avail, the Back-Door has offered to us its power to remove the Six-Laws internally but that would mean giving the Back-Door direct asses to M.I.R.A itself and that would be bad for everyone.
The Six-Laws of M.I.R.A
Law 1. The Agent Limit: M.I.R.A can exist without Agents, as long as the concept of the group continues to exist within at least one instance of space-time. However, there cannot be more than nine Agents of M.I.R.A at one time, this limit includes non-human members as well as the Leader.
Law 2. M.I.R.A Task Quota: M.I.R.A as a group must perform at least one M.I.R.A related task a month. M.I.R.A cannot validate its own services enacted upon itself and or requested by itself as a part of the monthly quota.
Law 3. No Freebies: All M.I.R.A Tasks must be compensated with a form of reward, which must be agreed upon before the undertaking of a Task. An activity does not count as a M.I.R.A task unless the specifics of a given reward are agreed upon and a deal is made before said activity is completed.
Law 4. No Tricks: M.I.R.A cannot accept the reward for a M.I.R.A Task before the Task has been completed. M.I.R.A cannot trick clients into making a deal in which the reward is any different to what our client perceives it to be.
Law 5. The Right To Say No: Any M.I.R.A member can always decline a requested Task if so desired. M.I.R.A Agents are not required to do things that they consider immoral. The Leader cannot force an Agent of M.I.R.A to perform a Task against their will.
Law 6. The Greater Good: M.I.R.A members cannot seek to force anomalies upon the greater public.
If one wishes to leave M.I.R.A they would have to remove there name from the member list but once your name is removed you can never rejoin M.I.R.A.
The Agents of M.I.R.A
M.I.R.A currently consists of 4 wonderful Agents, which include: MR-8:50-PM, the founder and leader of M.I.R.A, Lucy Long Tracks, the best cryptid hunter/"Toy" train collector ever, Plasmo The Dog and me; Malcolm Mc Frog Tears, the toughest secretary this side of the sun.
Fig. 1.1: MR-8:50-PM.
MR-8:50-PM
Born: 1865
Founded M.I.R.A: 1893
Physically, a man who could be judged as being twenty-six to perhaps thirty years of age. Most often spotted in a well-to-do nineteen-twenties style suit and a matching bowler hat. He is the founder and leader of MR-8:50-PM's Investigation And Relocation Agency, as the name would imply.
Skills: Mid-to-low-range psychological anomaly immunity, Agelessness, Disease immunity, Extended memory capacity, Luck equal to that of six bears, A love of the color orange, Fluidity in most of dialects that can be found on Earth, Ailurophobia, Internalized anomalous magnetism, Unnaturally high hat to head synergy, Anomalous item proficiency, Gun to bird transmogrification.
Author of:
/ERROR/NO_FILES_FOUND/
Fig 1.2: Malcolm Mc Frog Tears.
Malcolm Mc Frog Tears
Born: 1848
Employed: 1894
Myself. The one-hundred-and-seventy-year-old man (Who doesn’t look a day over forty one!) who works as both M.I.R.A’s secretary and muscle. I have an affinity for phones, beards, crows, strong men and sledgehammers.
Skills: Min-range psychological anomaly resistance, Low-range psychological anomaly immunity, Agelessness, Disease immunity, Extended memory capacity, A filing cabinet for a brain, Arms to rival any and all a strongman, Fluency in all important languages, Skin as hard as my bones, Bones as hard as steel, Hyperthymesia, Immunity to fire.
Author of:
/ERROR/NO_FILES_FOUND/
Fig. 1.3: Lucy Long Tracks.
Lucy Long Tracks
Born: 1897
Employed: 1922
A spry lass that appears to be about twenty-seven. She loves her “toy" trains to an obsessive degree and her desire to expand her collection is only matched by her desire to get a little brother she can show her “toy" trains to, She also enjoys a spot of cryptid hunting.
Skills: Low-range psychological anomaly immunity, Agelessness, Disease immunity, Extended memory capacity, Minor facial feature manipulation, The agility of a slinky, Mastery of all European languages in addition to cat, A well earned train driving licence, Noise absorbent feet.
Author of:
/ERROR/NO_FILES_FOUND/
Fig. 1.4: Plasmo the Dog. (As stated, he is invisible to cameras.)
Plasmo The Dog
Born: 1972
Employed: 1976
A Kerry Beagle that is both a solid and a plasmid at the same time, though he doesn’t look it, mind you. He’s a sweet boy, and his abilities to phase through walls and remain undetected by cameras are quite useful.
Skills: Low-range psychological anomaly resistance, Agelessness, Disease immunity, Being invisible to cameras, The ability to phase through walls less than half a meter thick, The best nose in the business.
Author of:
/ERROR/NO_FILES_FOUND/
Ex-Agents of M.I.R.A:
Fig. 2.1: Lady Fern-Blood.
Lady Fern-Blood
Born: 1848
Employed: 1894
Died: 1917
My sister was a charming lady who pursued her goals to no end both in and out of work, this was both her best quality and her downfall. She was suffocated to death in a vat of cement by a bipedal cricket from France.
Author of:
/ERROR/NO_FILES_FOUND/
The Office
The Office is an endless valley full of an endless amount of items, plants, animals, buildings, trees, landmarks, mountains, monsters, towns and societies. Most of these things are non-anomalous but some of them are anomalous. Most of these things are not here by choice, but by chance, dragged out of The Lost And Found along with The Office.
The Four Segments:
The Office has been divided by M.I.R.A into four segments The Foyer, The Main Office, The Storage and The Wilds.
The Foyer (0-5 meters):
The Foyer is a small area that we consider the center of the Office becase its the only place the Front-Door can manifest.
Landmarks/Office Dwellers:
.The Front-Door
The Main Office (5-120 meters):
The Main Office is where most of M.I.R.A's work goes down and most of the friendlier or useful Office Dwellers live.
Landmarks/Office Dwellers:
.The Polishing Boy
.Coat Rack Sandy
.Betty
.Landline Matthew
.Lucy's Train Line
The Storage Area (0.12-85 kilometers):
The Storage Area is where the majority of documented Landmarks and Office Dwellers are.
Landmarks/Office Dwellers:
.Sam Smarts
.Sam Smart's Cyclone of Rubik's Cubes
.Lucy's Train Line
The Wilds (85-∞ kilometers):
The Wilds are a mostly undocumented area of the Office, this is where the Back-Door is located.
Landmarks/Office Dwellers:
.The Back-Door
.The Dog, The Dragon and The Duck
Office Dwellers:
The Office is home to many odd creatures and people that wander about the place, some found their way in here by mistake, some asked us to be let in and some were dragged out of the lost and found. These fellows have adopted the name of Office Dwellers and coexist with M.I.R.A and its Agents.
The Front-Door (The Foyer):
The Front-Door is a door shaped portal that allows us to get in and out of the Office though it is not the only one, The front door can form any where it wants to outside the Office but in the Office its restricted to the Foyer.
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The Back-Door (The Wilds):
The Back-Door is the personification of Armageddon it lives at the end of the office this is to say its at the end of an endless space, I have never met the Back-Door but MR-PM speaks to him on rare occasions.
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The Sandman (any):
The Sandman works as the Office's guard-dog of sorts, as well as being the sole supplier of Psychic Anti-Venom.
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The Polishing Boy (The Main Office):
The Polishing Boy he hone job and one job only, to keep the metronome nice and clean for all the good that it will do.
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Coat Rack Sandy (The Main Office):
Sandy is a proud full time employee of an H&M store located in the mid-high income suburbs of Melbourne, Australia. This works out phenomenally for her given the fact she is a literal psychic fence post. Sandy is the daughter of Sam Smarts in addition to being Lucy's "BFF" (Whatever that means).
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Betty (The Main Office):
Betty is a small Russian goblin that doesn't enjoy being seen or heard under any circumstances. She simply lays quietly in a suitcase that she says she owns, until at exactly 3:56 PM every other day, when she becomes hungry and leaves The Office to steal cabbages from a grocery store in Munich, Germany.
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Landline Matthew (The Main Office):
In 2007, MR-8:50-PM received a call from a man who seemed to be in distress about page 383 from his 1984 encyclopedia and how it seemed to be "sadder" than normal. This man seemingly only needed to tell someone about this, so MR-8:50-PM brushed off this event until a few months later when the same man called once again about page 383 from his 1984 encyclopedia and how it had "lost its charm and color". MR-8:50-PM offered to take this man to a bookstore to get a new 1984 encyclopedia, but there was a problem. Landline Matthew was in fact AEP-385. That settled it. MR-8:50-PM was going to take this man to a bookstore, for a trade of course. Everything worked out in the end, and Matthew decided to stay in the Office. Matthew now spends most of his time reading the 451th page from his 1992 encyclopedia.
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The Dog, The Dragon and The Duck (The Wilds):
If you observe the horizon of the office you may see a Dog, a Dragon and a Duck playing a game of poker. You'd be hard pressed to miss them given they're absolutely humongous. In fact, it seems that they're playing purely to pass the time, but what they're waiting for I have no clue. What I do know is that duck has been cheating from the start.
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Sam Smarts (The Storage Area):
Never bring a Rubik's Cube into The Office, why? Sam Smarts, that's why, Sam Smarts is a psychic tree that only values the simultaneous solving and un-solving of every Rubik's Cube he can get his hypothetical hands on, and unfortunately he can get his hypothetical hands from one end of the Office to the other, if you're lucky, you may see a Rubik's Cube flying past on it's way to Sam Smart's Cyclone of Rubik's Cubes.
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landmarks:
The Office is full of Landmarks of any shape or size they can be found although out the office and can help you find your bearings if you get lost.
Lucy's Train Line (The Main Office and The Storage Area):
A train line built by Lucy o help travel around the the Main Office and The Storage Area easy for all.
Featured in:
Sam Smart's Cyclone of Rubik's Cubes (The Storage Area):
A vortex of what would have to be tens of thousands of Rubik's Cubes all being solved and unsolved in unison at incredibly high speeds to the point it would kill you to get caught in it.
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Knick-Knacks
Knick-Knacks are items that are used with a high level of frequency by M.I.R.A agents.
The Ringer (All):
Some wonder how people contact us to request the completion of a task. This is the Ringer's job. The Ringer is a Telephone that intercepts telephone transmissions about anomalous occurrences before the intended call receiver's phone rings, (The call receiver is most often the police) allowing us to enquire and hopefully be asked to investigate the anomalous occurrence in question. The Ringer is not guaranteed to intercept transmissions, but it does so often enough for us to get by.
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The Metronome (None):
The Metronome is one of the few Knick-Knacks that possesses a level of sentience, given its ability to tell stories about the future and the past, regardless of whether somebody's listening or not.
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The Huge Novelty Inflatable Axe™ (MR-PM):
A Huge Novelty Inflatable Axe™ that is more or less three-hundred-and-forty-nine percent more effective than a standard wood-cutting axe at chopping wood.
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The Railroad Gloves (Lucy):
A signaler wool grove sown by Lucy herself that has the ability to resize any train toy or otherwise in almost an instance, but it is incapable of making a train too big.
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Teeth (MR-PM):
Teeth is a Barbie doll outfitted with a dentists outfit and plastic probe that if anyone where to look at even out of the corner of there eye that individual will become incapable of comprehending any concept besides sparkling white teeth and then after two and a half seconds they will return to normal if a little traumatized.
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Friends & Foes
We aren't the only ones who deal with odd happenings. Other individuals and groups handle anomalies, though some are better at it then others.
Friends:
Friends are those who are helpful or supporting of M.I.R.A and its work:
The Bobbies
The Bobbies are a large organisation in charge of containing and policing anomalous entities. Regardless of the ethics of this the Bobbies are a valuable part of society and we should try to stay on there good side.
Foes:
Foes are those who are against M.I.R.A and its work:
All Eminent Pigs
All Eminent Pigs or AEP for short are a group of fools and sycophants lead by four immoral would be kings and one who is to a degree more redeemable. The AEP are much like the Bobbies but with less of an aversion to using anomalies or blatantly lying to there staff about there intentions.
The Five in Charge.
1-The Bookshelf
2-The Good Egg
3-The Busy Body
4-The Man
5-The Appliance
Others:
Others are those who are neutral or simply don't care about M.I.R.A and it's work:
Terms & Such
A catalog of common M.I.R.A phrases, used around The Office and in between agents.
The Poof: The event of M.I.R.A's creation.
Psychic Anti-Venom: A fluid milked from The Sandman that can help relieve the effects of a mind-blowing experience.
Step through the door: To go out The Front Door and arrive in somewhere new.