R.E's writing page.

JOKE

rating: 0+x
moldova-flag-vector-emoji-icon_70x70.png
rpc_moldova.jpg

Authority Agent ████ █████, "Leader" of RPC-1991-J

Item #: RPC-1991-J

Object Class: Omega Moldova

Containmet Protocols As of ██/██/1994, Containmet of RPC-1991-J is impossible. However, due to RPC-1991-J being relatively harmless, It has been granted official nation-state status and is to be referred to as such. All instances of RPC-1991-J-1 are to be considered humans, despite biological differences. All individuals entering RPC-1991-J are to be logged. This log is to be sent to the government of Romania. RPC-1991-J-2 is to never be recognized by an official nation-state under any circumstances. All individuals within RPC-1991-J-2 are to be immediately be administered amnestics and put into D-class registration.

Description: RPC-1991-J is an infohazard existing within the Bessarabia region of Romania. RPC-1991-J's anomalous properties manifest upon being referred to in discussion. Upon discussion of Bessarabia, almost all individuals will refer to the region as an independent nation-state known as Moldova. There are only two groups not affected by RPC-1991-J, being Authority personnel and the population of Romania. A fake government has been established within the region to cover up the existence of RPC-1991-J, with an Authority volunteer being selected as president every four years.

RPC-1991-J-1 are the inhabitants of the Bessarabia region. RPC-1991-J-1 instances are referred to as "Moldovans". RPC-1991-J-1 instances are identical to humans in all aspects, with the only difference being that an RPC-1991-J-1's body is composed of 70% of the Russian Standard brand of vodka as opposed to 70% water in a normal individual. RPC-1991-J-1 instances usually have IQ scores below 75, with few exceptions. If an instance of RPC-1991-J-1 somehow gains a notable music career, their IQ will raise exponentially to 105, and these instance will move to Romania proper when this career ends, retaining their intelligence.

RPC-1991-J-2 is an additional infohazard inside the Bessarabia region. This infohazard causes immediate belief in a communist state within "Moldova", referred to as "Transnistria". During daylight hours, all instances of RPC-1991-J-1 inhabiting the region under RPC-1991-J-2 are extremely hostile to all individuals, preferring to attack other RPC-1991-J-1 instances and people of Romanian descent. However, during nighttime hours, instances of RPC-1991-J-1 under RPC-1991-J-2 are extremely friendly to all individuals, even protecting them from local fauna and sharing alcoholic beverages.

Addendum-1991-J-A—Discovery: RPC-1991-J was discovered upon the breakup of the Soviet Union on 26/12/1991. After the Bessarabia region had been transferred to Romania, reports of RPC-1991-J's independence by foreigners became far more frequent. The Romanian government contacted the authority, who had preformed an investigation. After it was determined that RPC-1991-J was indeed an infohazard, "Containment" of RPC-1991-J was set up. However, on ██/██/1994, Instances of RPC-1991-J-1 has written a constitution for RPC-1991-J, Which then lead to many nations recognizing RPC-1991-J. Containment of RPC-1991-J was officially abandoned on this day.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License