Space Octopi That Usurped Santa





Registered Phenomena Code: 619

Object-Class: Beta-Red

Hazard Types: Psychotronic, Sapient

Additional Properties: Extra-Terrestrial, Organic, Aquatic

Containment Protocols: RPC-619 instances are to be put in a 10x10x10 aquarium that is to be filled with saltwater and coral and enforced with 12.7cm long glass. There must be a 12.7cm TV set near the RPC-619's containment cell. These containment cells are to be placed at least 10 meters away from each other to minimize the possibility of a containment breach. CC/619-1 is to be placed on the right window, CC/619-2 on the left window, and the corpses in CC/619-3 to be placed in general storage.

RPC-619 are to have access to multiple winter seasonal films for their entertainment, these films are to be approved by personnel of clearance level 4 or higher. Level 3 and above personnel are not allowed to be within 1.524m of RPC-619 instances besides short periods after feeding or entertainment sessions. Those approaching RPC-619 before feeding or entertainment sessions are to be put on high alert. RPC-619 instances are allowed access to alcoholic drinks on the day that the Authority Christmas party would start. In the event of a containment breach, HOHO-39 "Jingle-Bells" are to be called on-site for re-containment. The current project of HOHO-39-21 is to monitor the north pole for transmissions sent from RPC-619's race.

Description: RPC-619 is a species of extra-terrestrial organisms resembling organisms that belong to the family Octopodidae. RPC-619 instances wear a red and white cap that is normally used during the Christmas season. RPC-619 lacks vocal capabilities and communicates with an innate psychic ability.2 These abilities can prove lethal if an RPC-619 instance is not properly contained.

RPC-619 Instances have requested to join authority Christmas parties, this request has been approved after a trial test proving that RPC-619 instances psychic prowess area greatly dampened after they accidentally gained access to alcoholic drinks and became intoxicated.3

RPC-619 instances seem to have designated a leader from among their ranks. The captured RPC-619 instances refer to him as "Terry".4.

The RPC-619 instances intended to overthrow "The Big Jolly Red Man" otherwise known to the general population as "Santa Claus", the instances wear the festive hat to mimic Santa Claus. The first RPC-619 instance was found roaming the north pole. Its location was discovered via its constant signaling to local authority-owned transmitters. These signals only seem to say one phrase: "Operation Kris Kringle, stay on target."5

Addendum.619.01: Interview Log

Interviewed: RPC-619-1

Interviewer: Head Researcher, Harold R. Ames.

Foreword: Interview is conducted by Head Researcher, Harold R. Ames, about RPC-619-1's origin, motives, and background. the interview is after RPC-619-1's feeding session.

<Begin Log>

Harold R. Ames: Good Morning, RPC-619-1

RPC-619-1 Tis is a Good Morning, and please, enough with the formalities. Call me Terry like my other brothers and sisters do.

Harold R. Ames: I see. Sorry for that, "Terry."

RPC-619-1: I accept your apology but we aren't here for small talk are we?

Harold R. Ames: Yes, yes. Now, can you tell me why-

RPC-619-1: Actually, I'll ask the questions here. I like this free accommodation, but why am I here anyway? What's with all this scientific equipment?

Harold R. Ames: I'll get to that after the interview. Can you tell me why you came to earth?

RPC-619-1: Our race just loves learning about other cultures, you see. So when we found out we could get a hold of your world completely by slaying this "King Kringle", I was sent out to do so.

Harold R. Ames: You mean "Kris Kringle?"

RPC-619-1: Well, I guess so. You praise this man every winter season.

Harold R. Ames: Here's the thing. You see, this man isn't a "King" more like an iconic character of the holidays.

RPC-619-1: Wait, wait. Are you saying he does not exist? RPC-619-1 scutters to the corner of his containment cell.

Harold R. Ames: Oh, I'm sorry… I just-

Harold pauses

Christmas is a religious holiday people praise.

RPC-619-1: So you primates just praise imaginary characters, even though this does not advance your species in any way?

RPC-619-1 takes on a weird-out and confused look

Harold R. Ames: Just calm down, I'm sure he is real. We just haven't found him yet.

RPC-619-1 comes out of the corner of his cell interested.

RPC-619-1: Really? YES! NOW WE SHALL RULE!

Harold R. Ames: Uhhh, sure. Let's end this, we'll get your entertainment soon.

<End Log> >

Closing Statement: RPC-619-1 seems to believe the cultural icon "Santa Claus" is real and believes that it can usurp him. It is advised to tell RPC-619-1 than Santa Claus is a real figure, as so not to anger it.


Addendum.619.02: Statuses of RPC-619 instances

Instances Containment Cell Status and notes
RPC-619-1 "Terry" Containment Cell/619-1 currently located at the right window. Status: Alive. Seems to enjoy the teenage rated films given to it. It ignores the other, more childish instances.
RPC-619-2 "Charles" Containment Cell/619-1 currently located at the right window. Status: Alive. Is the most docile of the instances and routinely asks for humanoid entities to talk with.
RPC-619-3 "Samantha" Containment Cell/619-2 currently located at the left window. Status: Alive. Appears to be the only female instance of RPC-619, has a close relationship with RPC-619-2 and requests to visit him occasionally.
RPC-619-4 "Kyle" Containment Cell/619-2 currently located at the left window. Status: Alive. Is the most aggravated of the instances, asking for liquid energy coolants, specifically doses of Monster Energy.
RPC-619-5 "James" Containment Cell/619-3 currently located in general storage. Status: Dead. Subject was terminated via a high-voltage electric shock delivered by a HOHO-39 operative.

Addendum.619.03: Incident Log(s)

Addendum.3: Incident Log(s)

Incident Log-619-1

Date of occurrence: 12/0█/20██ *

*Time of occurrence**: 12:38

The incident occurred a day after RPC-619-5s requests were denied by head researcher Harold. RPC-619-5 did not eat or participate with the other instances in watching the seasonal films that day. Researcher Mitch S. Talos was to interview the instances for information. Instead of complying with orders, RPC-619-5 telepathically killed Researcher Mitch S. Talos via a forced nervous shutdown. Due to RPC-619-5's aggression, HOHO-39 was forced to terminate RPC-619-5 by a high-voltage shock delivered via an electric baton.

Closing Statement: Mr. Talos' family was informed of his death, that he had died due to him being electrocuted by an accidental exposed wire, the RPC-619 instances were allowed to give their condolences to RPC-619-5's body and were very inactive during the following week.

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