VANTA

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Marshall, Carter and Darke, LTD
Initial Report
Author Ruprecht Carter Date August 22, 1988
Interest High Identifier Kaiju Caviar
My my my my my. This Aquamorph, or whatever the proper term for it is now, has certainly proven to be an unprecedented windfall. And to think that those now impoverished pixies were so desperate they sold us the beast for barely 5 pence a pound!

As much as it delights me to see so many eager customers frantically forking over small fortunes for a handful of a festering carcass, I'm also pleased to announce that we've found a far more refined use for this creature that will appeal to our core clientele.

I'm sure you're all well aware of my love of caviar, so when I heard the Aquamorph was female I couldn't help but wonder about the nature of its eggs. I had our team slice open its ovaries and my hunch proved correct; they were filled with ripe roe, millions of eggs the size of apples, shining like pearls as green as the sea!

None of them had been fertilized, thank goodness, though that is perhaps not surprising. If you looked like that creature you'd have a hard time getting a date too. I had the lab run some tests to make sure they were safe for human consumption, then trusted them to Penny Price, our Chef du cuisine.

She did not disappoint.

These abominations are, without a doubt, the most delicious caviar I have ever eaten. They're even better than that Glittering Salmon we serve. Right now the only problem is one of overabundance. I've had a small portion of the eggs cryopreserved for research purposes, but of course, freezing caviar ruins the texture so that's not an option for the rest of them. I've had them pasteurized and vacuum sealed, so they might last 15 months, but selling so many in such a short time would flood the market (though not as flooded as Hy-Brasil was).

Our most urgent concern is finding a way, anomalous or otherwise, to preserve these eggs indefinitely. If we could do that, our supply could easily see us through to the end of the next century.

Here's to egg on our face.

~ Regards, Ruprecht Carter
File Opened Under: OCN39/T5FG6/7HJL2
Marshall, Carter and Darke,LTD

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Item ?Code?:

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Status:

Selling | Leasing/Renting | Renting

Demand:

High | Medium | Low

Value:

(insert number) GBP/ (insert number) USD per (insert amount identifier e.g. 'body', 'unit', 'monthly subscription') +optional[, plus (insert number) GBP/ (insert number) USD per (insert optional extra profit source e.g. 'annual storage fee')]

Availability:

Current Inventory +optional[ (insert extra detail e.g. 'is estimated to be approximately')] (insert number) (insert amount identifier) +optional[(insert extra notes relevant to availability e.g. 'Additional units can be requisitioned if the demand exists')]

Identifier:

(insert identifier e.g. 'Kaiju Caviar', 'Fidget Winners', 'Osteotronic Cubes')

Description:

(insert item description e.g. 'Items are anomalous, customizable biocomputers measuring approximately 10 centimetres along each dimension and weighing approximately 500 grams. They consist of an outer layer of ossified tissue surrounding a core of soft tissue, comprised primarily of cardiac, nerve and muscle cells. These units use a form of massively parallel DNA computing to provide processing speeds equivalent to roughly 2 terahertz of conventional computing power. Each unit also possesses 400 terabytes of core memory and up to 500 gigabytes of RAM.', 'The salt-cured roe of the Colossal Aquamorph Entity which attacked the Fey isle of Hy-Brasil in 1988. Each egg is approximately 2 1/4 inches in diameter, iridescent sea green, and best served individually as an entree. Currently available from our Pretty Penny line of restaurants, both off of the Mother of Pearl Collection menu as well as in jars of 6 for retail purchase.')

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