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Containment/AEDF Public Database/Outreach Media/Songs of the Fleet/Lauzon's Michael
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Lauzon's Michael
Adapted from Dawson's Christian by Leslie Fish and Vic Tyler, 1989
by an Anonymous Spacer of the AEDF, 1990

Pierre-Paul Lauzon was the Captain of the Michael and her crew
And he flew and fought the Howlers back in 1942
Now the Michael was the tightest ship based out of Oh-Nineteen
And a finer crew the Force had never seen

On patrol at Lagrange Five, keeping watch on Seven Two Two
They were jumped by Soshi gunships who declared that peace was through
As they came to general quarters and they sent out the alarm
Lauzon's crew was sure they'd finally bought the farm

No one living saw that battle though the fleet was quick to leave
When they reached the site they found a scene no sane man could believe
Dead in space lay seven gunships, cut to ribbons all around
But no sign of Lauzon's Michael could be found

There are stories of the Bodhi, Five-Four-Eight, the bots on Mars
There are stories of the Wellspring, other wonders from the stars
But the tale that chills my spirit, more because I know it's true
Is the tale of Pierre-Paul Lauzon and his crew
Yes, the tale of Lauzon's Michael and her crew

[Interlude]

I was second mate on Heavenlea, a freighter of the line
We were shipping pluto-nium to the Ceres water mine
It was on the second watch, the dullest posting I'd been dealt
When the Blue Book ships appeared out of the Belt

Now to me there was no question, for they had us three to one
You can't fight three UN killers when your freighter has one gun
So we stood by to be boarded by a party yet unseen
When another ship appeared upon our screen

First we thought it just a space rock, but the vector wasn't right
Then we thought it might be rescue, but its engine cast no light
When she didn't answer hailing, we all felt an unknown dread
For we saw her heatsink baffles glowing red

Now the courage of that single ship is shown by very few
But we never knew a ship could fly the way the stranger flew
Never fearing guns or numbers, like a tiger to its meat
The stranger then attacked the Blue Book fleet

And the stranger's guns spat rounds faster than any I'd seen before
And the strangers hull was harder than the heart of any whore
As the battle rent the ether, while we watched and shook our heads
The Blue Book ships were cut to bloody shreds
Yes, the Blue Book ships were cut to bloody shreds

Just as quickly as it started then the fighting was all done
For the UN fleet was shattered and the stranger's ship had won
Though we tried to call and thank her, not an answer could we draw
Then she matched vectors and this is what we saw

There were thirty holes clear through her and a gash along one side
And we knew that when it happened, that no crew were left alive
Her markings all said Michael, deep inside us each one knew
'Twas the tomb of Pierre-Paul Lauzon and his crew

Now instead of flying off, the stranger then began to fade
First the hull, and then the bulkheads as we cowered there afraid
For as the Michael disappeared, the last to slip from view
Were the bones of Pierre-Paul Lauzon and his crew
Yes, the bones of Pierre-Paul Lauzon and his crew

There are stories of the Bodhi, Five-Four-Eight, the bots on Mars
There are stories of the Wellspring, other wonders from the stars
But the tale that chills my spirit, and I swear to God it's true
Is the tale of Pierre-Paul Lauzon and his crew
Yes, the tale of Lauzon's Michael and her crew

Addendum: Transcriber's Note
Despite its blatant exaggerations and falsehoods, Lauzon's Michael remains one of the AEDF's most popular and beloved pieces of "fleet culture." Though its exact origins are unknown, it began appearing in social events across the Solar System in 1990, and quickly became an enduring ballad performed on ships, stations, and bases throughout the three Fleets.

It was not uncommon for AEDF personnel on leave to attend science-fiction conventions in the late 1980s, and little stretching of the imagination is needed to theorize that a musically-minded crewman might stumble upon the filk works of Leslie Fisk, purchase a copy of the album Carmen Miranda's Ghost, and create their own version of the original Dawson's Christian. What raises real questions is the content of the song itself.

The ships and names mentioned are real, though their historical deeds have been exaggerated. The AEDFS Archangel Michael, a Lillienthal-class NG cruiser built in 1942 and commanded by Austral War veteran Captain Pierre-Paul Lauzon de Saguenay, was indeed destroyed following a skirmish with an over-eager Soshi war party in 1959.

However, Fleet records and the ship's log shows that only a brief exchange of fire was undertaken before cooler heads prevailed. The Michael was scuttled by her own crew due to a reactor leak from damage sustained in the firefight, with Lauzon succumbing to radiation poisoning in his escape capsule.

While the AEDFS Heavenlea remains in active service, it has never been classed as a "freighter", and indeed manned AEDF ships are not used for cargo transport, and certainly not of refined nuclear fuels. It goes without saying that, while the Heavenlea has been involved in occasional standoffs and negotiations with the forces of Project Blue Book, neither side has ever forcibly boarded the others' ships. Additionally, the AEDF has never maintained a manned base on Ceres, though several automated ice mining stations are present in nearby sectors of the Belt.

A more curious historical note connects with the fate of the supposed ghost ship, the Michael; AEDF vessels passing through the Asteroid Belt in the summer months of 1979 recorded phantom gravity flux signatures near Ceres similar to those of an Authority NG drive, and small debris clouds whose spectral signatures matched those of Blue Book patrol craft. The UNAAC and representatives from Project Blue Book have refused to disclose further details about the loss of any of their ships in that region.

Regardless of its historicity or factual value, Lauzon's Michael will undoubtedly remain one of the Fleet's most notorious and well-sung pieces of popular culture.





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