Amazing! Co. Mini-Man Seeds!

Amazing! Co. Mini-Man Seeds!

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RPC-XXX

Registered Phenomena Code: XXX

Object Class: Alpha-Yellow Beta-Yellow

Hazard Types: Aggression Hazard, Ballistic Hazard, Bio-Hazard, Explosive Hazard, Microscopic Hazard, Organic Hazard, Sapient Hazard

Containment Protocols: The 67 instances of RPC-XXX currently in the Authority's possession are to be stored in climate controlled containment lockers. Efforts to secure potential uncontained instances are ongoing.

The two remaining instances of RPC-XXX-A that have been cultivated are to be contained in their original testing chambers for further study. These instances are to be watered daily through overhead sprinklers. To avoid the potential escape of pathogens and RPC-XXX-A specimens, these chambers are to be accessible only through standard airlocks. If the actions of RPC-XXX-A begin to threaten the safety of Authority personnel, cyanide gas is to be emptied into these chambers. All other testing of RPC-XXX is suspended indefinitely.

The hallway currently occupied by RPC-XXX-A-8 has been sealed off with a concrete barrier and an airlock. Negotiations are ongoing with the leaders of RPC-XXX-A-8; personnel are to consult Document XXX-14 in order to comply with the current terms of the ceasefire between RPC-XXX-A-8 and the Authority.

Description: RPC-XXX is the collective designation for 67 (originally 75) seed packets, each of which is marked with the logo of "Amazing! Co." and a brief description of RPC-XXX's properties.¹ Each packet contains between 35-40 seeds, physically similar to the seeds of Cucurbita pepo var. styriaca. RPC-XXX's anomalous properties manifest when the seeds are planted in soil in accordance with the instructions printed on the back of each packet.

When planted and cared for, the seeds will germinate and begin to put out roots. These roots extend to the edges of the soil that RPC-XXX is planted on. After this extension process is complete, a single large plant will grow from the center of the plot. This plant will then grow a single large flower. After about two weeks, this plant will die and release RPC-XXX-A.

RPC-XXX-A are populations of miniature humans and animal species. They are usually bright colors, such as white, black, red, yellow, green, blue, orange, and purple. The life span of human instances of RPC-XXX-A is about thirty to forty-five minutes.² After they are put forward by the RPC-XXX plant, they will begin to break off into separate groups.

RPC-XXX-A will always begin in a developmental stage resembling that of the hunter-gathering lifestyle of species of the Homo genus from approximately 1.8 million years ago to approximately 0.2 million years ago. Of note, no species of RPC-XXX-A have been observed to evolve past initial forms.³ After about two-three weeks for most observed instances, civilizations will begin to develop.⁴ See Testing Log XXX-1 for information on all growth of RPC-XXX-A civilizations.

+ Document XXX-1 +

Amazing! Co. Mini-Man-Seeds!

Just be planting them and and watch them grow into entire nation, all under your careful eyeball! See empire rise and generations live, all from safety of your own home!

To grow Amazing! Co. Mini-Man-Seeds!, just planting them into good soil, and make sure they get planty ha ha of water and light!

Warning: Do not be planting without adult supervising. Do not be planting your Mini-Man-Seeds in a plot greater than 20 ft by 20 ft. Do not be planting your Mini-Man-Seeds outside.

The political/religious/racial opinions/ideologies expressive by the Mini-Men are solely their own and do not necessary reflect the beliefs of Señor Amazing or Amazing! Co.

Amazing! Co. does not accepting responsibility for Mini-Men performing any of the following actions:

• wars

• worshiping/summoning of demons/gods/eldritch entities

• genocide

• establishment of communist/fascist/otherwise totalitarian dictatorships

• successful development/testing/use of chemical/biological/nuclear weapons of mass destruction.

By reading this document and planting these seeds, you agree to all said terms and forfeit the rights to take action against Amazing! Co. through:

• lawsuits

• boycotts

• protests

• honor duels

• exorcisms

• curses

• prophecies (either the making or fulfilling of)

• fatwas

+ Testing Log XXX-1 +

All tests were preformed using a plot of land measuring 20m x 20m, and measuring 15 cm deep.

Test 1

After one and a half weeks of growth, the instance of RPC-XXX-A was removed form the soil. No anomalous properties were detected during testing. Analysis of the soil revealed increased levels of minerals such as gold, silver, copper, tin, iron, marble, and others. A full list can be viewed in Document XXX-2.

Test 2

Time Since Testing Began	Relative Time Passed in RPC-XXX-A instance	Events
-14@00:00	0 years	Seeds planted
0@00:00	0 years	Plant germinates and RPC-XXX-A instances are released. They immediately begin to separate into groups.
0@00:15	22.5 years	Instances of RPC-XXX-A have adopted a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Tribal differences begin to emerge, with instances breaking into approximately 200 individual groups, made of 20-50 individuals each. Instances also begin to develop primitive belief systems, which are apparently shamanistic in nature.
0@00:30	45 years	Last surviving member of first generation dies

+ Incident XXX-07 +

Incident Report: XXX-07

Anomalies Involved:	RPC-XXX-A-8	Anomaly began prolonged assault on Authority personnel
Incident Type:	Jail Break	Anomaly broke the airlock of its containment cell
Incident Location:	Site-031-1	Testing Chamber #72
Cause of Incident:	Uncertain	Containment Division's Elisa Gusmão
Status:	On Hold	Negotiations in progress with anomaly.

---

REPORT DESCRIPTION:

RPC-XXX-A-8 breached the airlock door of its testing chamber and began to move out into the hallway surrounding Testing Chamber #72 sometime in the early morning of 12/05/2022. Researchers discovered breach on arrival to begin observations that day, during which airborne vessels began assaulting personnel. On-site security responded and drove back attackers before setting up a temporary barricade to prevent RPC-XXX-A-8 from accessing other areas of Site-031.

---

EVENTS TRANSPIRED:

[A timed description (can include commentary) of what occurred during or before the incident. Done within quoteboxes and using hours, as seen in the next part of the document]

---

DEDUCTIONS:

Personnel Casualties/Injured/Lost:

• Research Division
  • Jr. Researcher Yoko Kawahara (KIA)
• Authority Security Force:
  • 2 Personnel severely injured (Conditions stable, full recovery expected)

Assets Compromised:

• Site Infrastructure:
  • Testing Chamber #72 (Airlock door breached)
  • Hallway surrounding Testing Chamber #72 (Under Occupation)

---

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Analysis of the vessels utilized by RPC-XXX-A-8 forces indicate the use of both thaumaturgic methods and advanced weaponry beyond current human capabilities. This suggests either RPC-XXX-A-8 advanced far more rapidly than anticipated during the night of May 11-May 12, or that RPC-XXX-A-8 was aware of Authority monitoring prior to May 11 and successfully concealed the development of said technology.

On the evening of 12/05/2022, the leaders of RPC-XXX-A-8 made contact with security personnel monitoring the barrier around Testing Chamber #72, offering a temporary ceasefire and offering to begin negotiations with the Authority.

+ Interview XXX-15 +

Interviewed: "Speaker"⁵, Representative of RPC-XXX-A-8's leaders

Interviewer: Harrison Jhoulen, Assistant Director, Site-031-1

Foreword: Site-031-1 personnel were able to begin negotiations with RPC-XXX-A-8 following their capture of the hallway surrounding Testing Chamber #72. Mr. Viktor Amonsson, a member of the allied GoI "The Descendants of Yggdrasil" agreed to participate in the negotiations as a neutral third-party moderator.

---

<Begin Log>

Dir. Jhoulen: [speech]

Person: [speech]

[Repeat as necessary]

<End Log>

---

Closing Statement: [Small summary and passage on what transpired afterward]

Footnotes

1. See Document XXX-1

2. This time span appears to be proportional to forty-five to seventy years for normal humans.

3. However, domestication and breeding of animals by humans has been observed, resulting in more varied forms.

4. Note that, based on observations of the life span of RPC-XXX-A, this time period is roughly equivalent to 30,240 years to 45,360 years.

5. Most likely a title or honorific; subject declined to provide actual name for unknown reasons

« RPC-XXX | RPC-XXX | RPC-XXX »

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Image source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cucurbita_pepo_var._styriaca07.jpg

This was inspired by a post on the SCP Wiki's "Fragments" page (the one where people posted ideas they'd lost interest in turning into full articles) that I read about a million years ago.

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aggression-hazard amazing.co ballistic-hazard beta bio-hazard explosive-hazard microscopic-hazard organic-hazard rpc sapient-hazard yellow